Happy 75th birthday, Mom!
The story of a priceless, surprise birthday celebration for my mother.
LANGSTON, Okla. — Her reaction upon arrival brought tears to her oldest and youngest sons.
Immediately, this surprise shindig was a smashing success.
Guests poured in from near and far. Oklahoma City. Little Rock. Dallas. Houston. Louisville. Seattle.
All but one of her sisters among her six remaining siblings made the celebration. All but one of her four sons and all but four of her 12 grandchildren were in attendance. Still, not even a few sorely missed family members could dampen her day.
“I’ve got all my brothers with me!” Dr. Alberta Mayberry exclaimed as she entered the Wesley Center, armed with an impromptu remix of Sister Sledge’s classic, “We Are Family.”
And just like that, all the planning and preparing, all the sacrifices and setbacks, were worth every painstaking second.
The matriarch of our family turned 75 on March 27. Five days later, we threw her the best party we could. For all she’s done, both for her family and for countless others, and for all she’s overcome, my mother deserved to be celebrated. She’s earned it and more.
And so a party that had been in the idea phase since November finally came to fruition on a gloriously sunny Saturday afternoon in my hometown.
You can’t put a price on the joy that filled my mother and, consequently, our family over the weekend. Yet, we managed to remain prudent with our spending. Our mother wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. For a fraction of what some fancy soirée would have cost, we pulled off an equally special salute.
The bash was my brainchild, but as the youngest son living 800 miles away in Chicago I could only do so much. Like most important matters regarding my mother, the bulk of the burden fell on my oldest brother, Myron. His lovely wife Tausha transformed into a pivotal and appreciated event planner, although it’s nowhere near her expertise. The party wouldn’t have happened without them.
Myron, however, has expensive tastes. His initial estimate of costs for the four of us was $1,250 apiece. I balked. Not to skimp on my mother, but surely we could do better than $5,000 in small-town Oklahoma. But none of us work in the event-planning industry, and little did we know how inflation has skyrocketed even such things as tablecloths and cutlery.
We settled on a much lower figure that cut our costs to approximately half the initial estimate. I booked my flight to Oklahoma using airline points, saving a few more hundred dollars, paying only the $11.20 flight tax. I didn’t have to rent a car. My mother picked me up from the airport. I didn’t need a hotel. I stayed at my mom’s house. I didn’t need to purchase a gift. The party was her gift.
My trip and the party both were as cost-efficient as possible. It proved that with a little creativity and resourcefulness even the most special occasions can be financed responsibly.
Some of my mother’s favorites were well-incorporated. The color blue was prominent throughout, from her dress to the decorative table runners, in recognition of my mother’s sorority, Zeta Phi Beta. One of her favorite colors, yellow, was woven in as a perfect accent.
Her nephew, my cousin Shelby, sang a tribute, a touching delivery of Brian McKnight’s rendition of the classic “Crazy Love.” Her best friend, my Godmother Sandra, followed with an all-encompassing trio of ballads. The most heartfelt: Aaron Gold’s classic “Thank you for Being a Friend,” later adopted as “The Golden Girls” theme song.
A slideshow showcased my mother’s lifetime of adventures, from backyard kick-backs to professional encounters with such dignitaries as Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton and the late Desmond Tutu. Two video tributes gave a voice to those who couldn’t make it. The first comprised older folk, longtime friends and a couple of relatives. The second, which stole the show, featured birthday wishes from all 12 of her grandchildren.
We dined on a local, Black-owned catering company, “Boomzmealz,” that whipped up some of the best mac and cheese you’ll ever eat. Then we gorged on an assortment of desserts.
It wasn’t quite perfect. But it came pretty darn close. It greatly exceeded my original vision and gave our family a reason to convene for something other than a funeral.
The turnout, tributes and tears told the story of an amazing woman who has touched plenty with her far-reaching tentacles.
I’m so grateful that she is mine and I am hers.
Happy 75th, Mom.
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL - YOUR STORY AND YOUR MOTHER! I’m moved to tears AGAIN!